FRUSTRATION versus OPTIMISM

I was never a good singer. I know I’ll never be. However, this statement does not hinder me from loving songs and attempting to sing them until I totally mess up the arrangement of notes. Whenever I sing, so many wild imaginations dawn unto me. One, I imagine the composer of the song, fresh from the grave, angrily staring at me, violently stops me from destroying his song. Second, it seems that all the passersby would say a little prayer for forgiveness after having been tempted to comment on my voice. Third, I imagine how loyal my friends can be after praising me up high in spite of the warped and twisted singing voice I have. But still, singing is never a desperate dream for me.

Let me bring you back to the excruciating past I had as far as singing and/or Music class is concerned. When I was in Grade VI, I remember, the class focused on one line of a song. We dwelt on its melody; each of us pupils stood and sang it. Take note, one by one sang only a single line of the song. My teacher, Miss Sally Teves really got so exhausted of making me sing out the right tune. After a dozen of attempts, I think, I got the tune. (I don’t know if I really did or maybe my teacher was too worn-out of pointing out the right tune to a never-born-singer.) In high school, I praised heavens for four years. My MAPEH teachers, Mr. Ortiz and Mr. Navarro did not focus on Music. It was a wonderful four-year break. (I just pretended I needed a break after a fatiguing concert). I finally reached college. As an Education student, there was a need for me to take up Music. Miss Saavedra was very kind to me. During performances, especially Masses, she placed me right ahead of the best singers. Take note, I was never at the back. I really was in front. I was the person assigned to manipulate the overhead projector for the choir members. (C’mon, laugh out loud. I just did.) It was funny but I got over it over the years.

Once, I sang in a videoke bar in my town. An old woman passed by and greeted me with a smile of eagerness. I thought she was mesmerized by my voice. Only to find out, she had hearing defects. She was just too kind to greet me. Amen.

Now that I have grown a little more mature, the search for a good singing voice is not yet over. Whenever I do my personal thing, I imagine myself to be the next Martin Nievera or at least Christian Bautista (pardon my height!) and worse, I once daydreamed of reaching the high notes of Sarah Geronimo (comments?). I never cease dreaming. After all, I learned that everything will come true or at least, a little of everything will come true (inspired by the movie What Dreams May Come). This is maybe one of the many reasons why I chose to become a friend to Atty. Farah Tropezado (she got a very powerful singing voice). Who knows, our inseparability might sparkle a little of her voice to me. (Joke.)

Seriously, I chose not be called frustrated. It’s the meanest thing I can do to myself. Frustration for me is the last resort of fools. Frustration comes in when one’s heart finally closes to the possibility of achieving one’s dreams. Coelho, in his book The Alchemist, wrote IN EVERYTHING YOU DESIRE, THE WHOLE UNIVERSE WILL CONSPIRE FOR YOU TO ACHIEVE IT. This is the best motivation I can give to myself.

I believe that one day in my life, I would be able to gather numerous crowd, all energized to hear my voice. Mark my word, one day, you’ll see in the ad, RODEL DELORIA, LIVE in CONCERT!

Friends, optimism is an edge in this trying time. No matter what the area is, no matter what the issue is, the prize always goes to positive thinker. This is probably how the words courage, strength, resistance, perseverance and faith came to exist. Optimism is such a huge package of weapons where all the gadgets and thingamajigs of human battle for victory are contained. The good news there is optimism is never costly. It is not subversive by nature and most of all, it has never brought any havoc. Instead, it is something that is motivating, invigorating and even safe for others to use.

Singing for me is not a frustration; it is my subject of leveling up the optimism in me, in the many battles I have in life.

So the next time you attempt to do something far beyond your capacity, let optimism drive you and before you knew it, you’re half way there.