LOVE WIL KEEP US ALIVE

I was standingAll alone against the world outsideYou were searchingFor a place to hideLost and lonelyNow you’ve given me the will to surviveWhen we’re hungry...love will keep us aliveDon’t you worrySometimes you’ve just gotta let it rideThe world is changingRight before your eyesNow I’ve found youThere’s no more emptiness insideWhen we’re hungry...love will keep us aliveI would die for youClimb the highest mountainBaby, there’s nothing I wouldn’t doI was standingAll alone against the worlk outsideYou were searchingFor a place to hideLost and lonelyNow you’ve given me the will to surviveWhen we’re hungry...love will keep us aliveWhen we’re hungry...love will keep us aliveWhen we’re hungry...love will keep us alive

The Mask of Zorro

I am an avid fan of Zorro. I could remember how he heroically saved numerous lives in battles and struggles in his films. The mask for me is a connotation of humility and valor. His might can be felt when you stare straight to the mask.

Mask. Symbolic.

Not with a person I have known who wears a beautiful mask to cover up an ugly, hideous and repulsive personality. I couldn't imagine how eerie-looking this person is when his mask is detached.

People, watch out, looks can be deceiving. Some pretend to be good but in truth, they are traitors.

On Betrayal & Forgiveness

Many times, I was betrayed. I shed tears up to heaven and even hope to die sooner. The pain betrayal brought to me, I thought was enduring. I was wrong. Until I had uverything I needed about forgiveness and undergone a recollection with Fr. Junjun Limbaga who sympathetically poured out everything I needed about forgiveness.

In our more-than-two-hours session, I cried when he pointed out so many things about forgiveness. Finally, I found someone who joins me in my pains and struggles, aside from my friends Rizza and Mariz and the Norrs. It was all about the Seven Last Words of Jesus. We had a recollection in preparation for the Lenten Season.

So much for the background. Here I go. First, I must admit, it is painful when you are betrayed but it is glorifying if you forgive. When a traumatic incident happened to me, it made me realize how I can possibly endure pains and thank God, I just found out that I can be emotionally stable even at the back of pressures. At a deeper note, I learned that relationship (I mean not the special ones) can be defended if only you choose to defend it. A lot of people go separate ways because of petty issues but in my case, I was able to choose the right one.

Yes, I am not certain if I won't be betrayed anymore but I am sure that I should be careful in treating people. I have to be extra careful.

I forgave. I will still forgive.

The Streams of Dreams

If I were to liken myself into anything in this world, I'd have to say, I am a wonderful portrait that shows a wide array of hues and forms. This is because, every time my mind isn't busy, I don't deprive myself of thinking some big things. I fill my mind with so many colorful imaginbations and I enjoy transforming myself into somebody else. I enjoy every minute of dreaming and imagining myself to be someone or something. Now, I have come to gain some confidence to put into writing what I had always been dreaming. I know it's fun although some may sound extremely funny (and impossible). Read on...

As I go out with my friends to enjoy some beer and nuts, I feel so jealous why they got those beautiful voices. And so, in my solitary hours, I always pretend to be Sarah Geronimo (if I were a girl) or at least, (take note, at least) Josh Groban or Martin Nievera. As I dream to become a caliber singer, I didn't mean to earn fame and glory. I intend to sing for kids inside my classroom. How I wished so much to really sing a song for them and see them so proud of me.

After my friend Farah passed the Bar, there was a little spark of desiring to become a lawyer. Honestly. However, it turned out to die a natural death because in one of our pizza-and-beer moments, I just found out that it's such a stressful job. I decided to quit. I learned that I should rationalize my choices.

Thanks to Mark Xander Fabillar for inviting me in his TV program @ Random. I had a wonderful experience with him in an interview. It was a spontaneous exchange of ideas. From that experience, I again dreamed of becoming a world-class talk show host just like Ellen and Oprah. I do. I really do. If it comes true, I am challenged to talk with my tact in. My tongue should be a channel of joy and comfort. My words shouldn't be like weapons that wound but heal and give life.

I also came to the point of dreaming to become a commercial model. (WHHHAAATTTTTTT???) Yeah. I did. How I imagined myself to be right in one of those billboards in EDSA. But it dawned to me that EDSA is quite far. I have my classroom where I can be a model not only for a minimal time frame but for eternity. I concluded, if I choose to do good and show this good thing to my kids, it will create ripples to them. It will eventually multiply. What else should I travel for?

You see, I am starting to get bored of enumerating my dreams. Owning a school, becoming a DepEd Secretary, winning an international public speaking tilt, and a whole lot more.

This I know is the sign of my celebration of humanity--in the streams of dreams!

TARZAN

Hello there! I'm posting this song that I love most. I thought of posting it because I realized that even when you have let go already, it is humble enough to even share kindness with one another. Love is Love. It celebrates with the good. It never holds grudges. They may be gone but surely, they will be in our hearts, not as special people but as the ones who taught us lessons through the pains they caused. You'll Be in My Heart by Phil Collins

Come stop your crying It will be alright Just take my hand Hold it tight I will protect you From all around you I will be here Don't you cry For one so small You seem so strong My arms will hold you Keep you safe and warm This bond between us Can't be broken I will be here don't you cry Cause you'll be in my heart Yes, you'll be in my heart From this day on Now and forever more You'll be in my heart No matter what they say You'll be here in my heart Always Why can't they understand the way we feel They just don't trust What they can't explain I know we're different But deep inside us We're not that different at all And you'll be in my heart Yes, you'll be in my heart From this day on Now and forever more Don't listen to them Cause what do they know? We need each other To have, to hold They'll see in time I know When destiny calls you You must be strong I may not be with you But you've got to hold on They'll see in time I know We'll show them together Cause you'll be in my heart Believe me, you'll be in my heart I'll be there from this day on Now and forever more Oooo, you'll be in my heart You'll be here in my heart No matter what they say I'll be with you You'll be here in my heart I'll be there always Always I'll be with you I'll be there for you always Always and always Just look over your shoulder Just look over your shoulder Just look over your shoulder I’ll be there always

One Stare

I know i never had the chance to talk to you or even express some kind words before we both closed the book of tragedies that we never imagined to be that way. I missed a lot of things that I wished I could said or done but time is of the essence, specially now when we both are struggling to get over some drastic changes, (or maybe, I alone). So, the next time we see each other along the road or maybe at the supermarket, please, no words, no exchanging of smiles, not even nodding of heads. No. Nothing. There's only one thing we both are entitled to give--ONE STARE. ...and the world will rotate aorund its axis. :)

“What if I were this or that…what if it was turned this way…if only…”

These are the few phrases that started my statements when I continued my self-rehabilitation. In a beautiful Sunday evening, after a night of beer and skittles, I found myself momentarily free from the world’s burden. I stood like I never had those puzzling moments. Once, I was free. For once, I had a time for myself. However, problems can never be betrayed. You cannot escape from them. They’ve got to be faced and solved. So much for the problems, I have a new view today. This article would surely draw a crowd because for the first time, I put into writing the many questions revolving around human life. And that’s not only my personal side but it is also others’ too.

Human complexities—these are the usual enemies of the body and soul. Complexities come in different forms. They may be through life’s questions which seem unanswerable. These are human questions that need pain before they can be answered.

Complexities also come in the many ironies of life. For example, good friends of mine whose names I choose to keep in the dark are presently experiencing this. Love and charisma are both present in them yet they have to give in to the call of giving up because of their family decisions. Their complexity is found not from their own selves but in another party which is obviously of heavier weight. They had to bear the difficulty of losing love all at the expense of their own happiness and in favor of their families. When tears fell down each other’s eyes and when I saw those nostalgic hugs, I wasn’t able to hold myself but breathe deeply for such a selfless love I witnessed. They agreed, they were both in crossroads but they promised, they both shall meet again.

This would read familiar to you: a piece of life’s daily happenings that you never ever dream of suddenly appears right at your doorstep. Familiar? I am referring to those life’s difficulties that have become your phobia and have entered into your path like a curse or something.

Lately, when I was distributing short stories to my fourth year students for them to analyze, I was reminded of Oscar Wilde’s work, The Happy Prince and found myself soaked in the sweet message of it. The story told of a huge statue of a Prince towering over the entire city. it was a statue embedded with precious stones like ruby and was covered by leaves made of precious elements. No wonder it was called the Happy Prince. But the prince wasn’t happy at all. He couldn’t dare to look at the entire city with suffering mortals just to die of complexities. With the help of a swallow, all the precious stones around the prince’s body were distributed to those in need. It was in a winter day and time came when the prince’s body finally gave up and the little bird’s health didn’t make it, both died. When God came into the city, He commanded His angels to look for the most precious things in that city. The angels brought the prince’s cracked heart and the bird’s dead body.

Lesson time: the prince’s state of sadness was his complexity. He was in a crossroad of enjoying his entire being and giving his aid to those in need. Right at the time he bore his difficulty, he did something about it that made him glorious. This may be applicable to all of us. Our difficulties can our instruments of love and charity. I have no concrete example my dear friends but surely, as what Mother Teresa, Princess Diana, Pope John Paul II and many others did, we can also make our difficulties our ticket to better living. This is the primal reason why we should not question everything that comes along our path because each single leaf along our way is a part and parcel of the wonderful journey we are traveling. No doubt about it, religious people remind us from time to time: everything has a purpose. Our complexities have purposes. They may not be at hand now but they will come, in God’s perfect time.

To end, care for another food for the soul? Take this: Life is a series of choices; what to do, where to go, when to leave, etc. Life, complex as it is, is a series of choices. What will you choose: your fall or your glory? Get up; never let life’s complexities deprive you of the sweets it offers.

Understanding Love Better

I wrote this article the day before hearts grew bigger and livelier.

Valentine’s Day…one of the most awaited seasons of the year especially for lovers and seekers. I admit it, I feel jealous whenever I hear friends of mine sharing their experiences after the hearts’ day. Every time I see some red roses on this day, my antagonistic instinct ignites, whose burial is it? Or when sweet chocolates beautify the table of a pretty colleague, sarcasms fill the air; go ahead, tonsillitis is just around the corner!

That was my immaturity though. Now, I am a part of the millions of creatures around the world who wait for this day. Sincerely, I do wait not because I have a partner but because I have a better understanding of love. No, I am not a super duper caliber romantico, I just learned from my friends. (If I were to enumerate my lessons, this space wouldn’t be enough.)

On this day, I thought of sharing some of the most essentials of life and loving, which are left unattended. I am referring to those basic ways of life that we must follow when we finally decided to love. First and foremost, loving is a commitment not a trial-and-error game. Commitment, in a deeper note, is giving your self entirely to the person, of course with reservations if marriage is still not in the plan. I mean when we commit we give our word of honor the chance to prove it. I read Bo Sanchez’s book and I was amazed by the reality that he opened to me. He said that he himself was confused why on the wedding day, the bride seems to be the most beautiful princess while the groom is the most handsome prince of the entire planet. Happiness is immeasurable during this time. However, a spell comes when after years of being together, the bride becomes a broom-riding witch while the groom turns out to be a foul-smelling frog. How sad! There is a way to break the chain—and this is what I want to point out as well. Everyday greeting of I Love You. Please do not forget, love expressed is like a river freely flowing without knowing how far it will go. There are many expressions of love, a kiss, a hug, a walk in the park, a movie treat, a salu-salo, washing the clothes together, or the most powerful of all, going to Church together. Some people find this impossible to do because of money. Money is not the issue my friends, you don’t have to spend just for your partner to realize how much you love him/her. However you do it, go ahead, express your love; the world cannot hold you from doing this. This is your privilege and you are gifted to feel this way.

I dedicate this last part to all the SISAs in the world, (single and satisfied; single by choice not by chance, please). Even if I have no partner as of this writing, I am still waking up in the early mornings of all the Valentine’s Days of my life gratefully in-love. Why? This is because I love my SELF. A classical song said it, learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all. I am as excited as everyone else. I’ll buy roses and chocolates for my self. This is one way of making myself ready to fall in love because I believe for the world to love you, you must learn how to love the inner YOU first and rest will follow. Friends, it is true that life nowadays is very hard and stiff but this is not a reason for us to stop loving and eventually fall to misery and distress. There are a lot of things in life that can make us happy and even happier. These things are even God’s simple proofs of love; they are life’s grandest prizes. Many of us miss these prizes because we choose the worldly ones—money, car, luxury, awards, properties and all. We may not be able to grasp all of these but do not ever forget that we are all eligible for life’s small treasures—a pat on the back, a good word, a hug, a full moon, a glorious sunset, a smile from an acquaintance, an empty parking space, a good joke, a great meal, a hot soup, a cold drink, an ice cream, a thank you, a happy birthday and so much more! There are many ways for life to be happy. Friends, pick these tiny little blessings and you’ll find out how much love you have been enjoying.

This Valentine’s Day, my wish goes to all who were too blind to see the brighter side of life. Even if it is not Valentine’s Day everyday but His love has been pouring like a flood. It’s about time to erase the earthly prizes that only cause misery and vain and it’s your time to count on love everywhere by enjoying life’s tiny blessings, which are plenty for you and for me.

Happy Hearts’ Day everyone!

Wounded Knees

God chose to give me wounded knees.

After a thorough personal bath, I found myself counting the scars around my body and I noticed that my knees had the most number of scars—big and ugly scars. I was really never flawless—a fact that is not worth of debate or argumentation. Then memories came pouring out like rain. I recollected on the times I got wounded. I remember most of them were from running and chasing and scampering around.

Having wounded knees has a deeper connotation now that I have grown up. At the age of 25, I got numerous wounds in my knees, which subtly healed. Twenty-five years of finding my destiny, enjoying life, suffering pains and a lot more truly gave me scars. Especially today, at the most trying time of my life, I know, my knees are bleeding. Let me share this beautiful story with you:

Three men met an accident one day and their souls immediately went up for the final judgment. St. Peter gave them all a warm welcome. Suddenly, God appeared before them. Johnnie, John and Juan faced their Creator with glowing enthusiasm. However, they were surprised when God looked and touched their knees instead of opening the book of life. In a minute, God invited Juan to join Him in His paradise while the other two went to Purgatory. In amazement, Juan asked the Lord why his knees of all the body parts. God answered, “Scarred people are beautiful people. Your ticket is your scarred knee; healed by your prayers and touched by My Hands.”

See? Friends, this is the point of this article: sometimes we feel so down because we are burdened by the invisible wounds and scars life gives. It’s not really easy to be in difficult times like giving up even your faith may sound as the last resort. Fellows, I learned my lesson. If God is giving me wounds and scars, I must look at it positively. Jesus Himself had countless wounds and scars. at least, I join Him in His suffering thousands of years ago. Of the many speaking engagements I had, I’d have to say, 7 out of 10 people really would question why man suffers. Honestly, I also asked the same question and will ask the same question soon. As of the moment, I find solace from the people who told me that my own sufferings are the manifestations of the relationship I have with my Maker. I remember my Religion teacher in St. Paul University who told us that the heavier your cross is, the closer you are to Jesus because you share the burden of the Cross. Human as we are, sometimes, we do not understand why life seems unfair and tough and that all we have to do is cry and pour out. Personally, in every problem that I encounter, yes, I ask the Lord and I even challenge Him but I end up sleeping right on His arms. As I pray, I ask Him to give me His trials, one by one.

I wish to end this article with a text message that I really find suitable. It says, “We run so fast to reach our dreams and sometimes we fall on the ground…but don’t despair, because the most successful people are those with wounded knees…”

May God give comfort to all our sorrows.

Against the Sin, not the Sinner

If God will despise all the sinners of this world, I suppose, everyone would go crazy running after His mercy.

After a series of emotional trials brought about by inevitable circumstances, I decided to write about human imperfection and how fellows must react to it. This article may sound religious but it is actually not. For once, allow me to write about those creatures (I’m actually doubting whether they are humans or not) that are totally animalistic and for once let me awaken them to their long sleep where no handsome prince can wake them up except themselves.

Our main point is on committing a mistake. Mistakes are natural; they spice up human life. Without mistakes, you would not know, which is the right one. Without it, you wouldn’t be able to point out which is the preferable one. In my classroom, whenever I commit mistakes like mispronunciation and grammatical massacre, I don’t hide myself. In all honesty, I accept it and tell my students that I am happy that I have committed mistakes because it is my own celebration of my human imperfection. I end up fulfilled, happy and clean. I have a comment on how the world judges mistakes. For some people, mistakes are the total person itself. For them, committing one is just like losing the precious life. However, some treat mistakes as incompetence, incapability, malfunctioning of system, abnormality and all the negative terms you could think of that clearly view the opposite of normal. How is that? They insult mistakes and they add insult to the injuries of mistakes. Instead of patching up the wrongdoing, they find glory in proclaiming the wrongdoing and even grabbing the opportunity to reign in power out of these mistakes. This is how the ancient people call it—self-gratification out of disaster. What does the Bible say? We must forgive seventy times seven. I am not tolerating mistakes but I am actually pointing out that mistakes are not valid reasons for a person to be crucified.

This is one thing that actually makes me feel confused. There are many people who go to Church every Sunday and even every day yet, forgiving is one such humble thing that they cannot do. Jesus Himself never despised the sinners; He loves the sinners so much that He gave His own Life to save them. Why did He heal the blind? Why did He heal lepers? Why did He make friends with prostitutes and tax collectors? They are sinners! This reality tells us that even how heavy one’s sin is, a loving heart is always strong to carry it. I like it very much when an author once wrote, “Everyone is entitled to commit mistakes yet everyone is privileged of second chances.” Our mistakes are our roads to better lives. If we lose the hold of people because of their mistakes, we can never hold one for eternity because nobody in this entire world is perfect enough to please one.

This is probably the reason why the term HAND came to exist. Lending a helping hand to the broken-hearted, sharing a comforting hand to the oppressed and offering a consoling hand to the hopeless can surely erase the bad effects of counting the sheep instead of blessings.

Friends, think of this, Jesus said, and you have to follow Him, DESPISE THE SIN, NOT THE SINNER!

THE BEST CHOICE

I was in Grade III when I started to love teaching.

I attended an information campaign conducted by Metrobank Foundation, Inc., in their search for possible applicants for this year’s search for Outstanding Teachers. When Sister Principal told me to join the forum, I was a bit confused because what I knew is that Metrobank nominees are basically old, retiring and caliber teachers of today. I am only 24 and my sense of shock started to ignite when I entered the Jordan Room of Bethel filled with really experienced and superior teachers. What is this little boy doing here? I asked myself. For compliance’s sake, I sat down and tried to love the show.

I became interested when I saw the people in the presidential table, no less than Vice Mayor William Ablong, Dumaguete Division Schools Superintendent Dr. Carmelita Dulangon, previous awardees and some other personalities. I looked at them with extreme pride being part of the crowd. The forum started and the testimonials started to fill the airs of room as well as some words of encouragement from the prominent guests. Sitting down there I again pondered on some points.

Teachers are seldom given recognition. True. Undeniable. I remember that poem in English literature where the persona grieves over the appreciation given to lords and masters while the ones who did the dirty work are left forgotten and missed. I must not speak more about appreciation going to teachers because I myself am a teacher and I don’t want to sound biased. Personally, I agree that teachers are most of the time deprived of standing tall in their respective pedestals. Anyway, my defense mechanism, if I may share, is the story about St. Peter making the teacher be the first in the line for making it possible for the world to produce some other professionals.

So much for that, what I am very interested in writing about is the recognition that Metrobank gives to exemplary teachers. When we were oriented on the selection process, criteria and challenges, I commented that one should really be a totally devoted teacher before aiming that high. I was teary-eyed when Mrs. Despojo, an awardee of 2002, shared the word LOVE as the key to an effective teaching. Truly, one cannot give what one doesn’t have. It takes a teacher to love his work before he could give love to the class.

I ended saying I salute the awardees and even wished to have the award someday. Now that I am too young for the award, I just complemented myself by a prayer for God’s Divine Providence every time I enter my classroom. I know, one doesn’t have to win as many awards as the world can give before he could be an effective teacher. The real score is on how you deal with day-to-day struggle. I quote “ Teaching may not make one popular but what is essential is the buckets of diamonds found in the hearts of the students.” This line is very timely. Sometimes, because of worldly pleasures and pressures, we teachers miss the essence of teaching—the human person, a total formation thru education.

I hope our awardees will continue to inspire teachers of today. I also hope that our government will give more attention to our teachers such that they will be more active and dedicated in forming and molding future leaders. I cannot imagine how this world looks without our teachers!

It’s honestly a good thing that I started to love teaching when I was still 8. From funny acts of teaching and checking and writing and reading, I realized that this is my field. I may not be a perfect teacher, one who doesn’t deserve an award but I am glad that at least one day, I chose to be in a field where love is given unconditionally. Friends, I tell you, if you are torn between choices, look up and He will give you the better one and in fact the best one…the best choice!

Chasing Greener Pastures

“Whew! What a day!”

That was the only reaction that I made after days of being bedridden and left all alone at the house while the rest of my fellow teachers enjoy the summer heat in the beautiful Boracay Island. Adding insult was the nostalgia I felt when I looked at my room at my boarding house where no other creature except roaches bathing the thickening dust remained. My best friend Maricon left for Bahrain and some of my board mates are nowhere to be found.

Separation—this was the theme of my thinking on that day. Getting detached from your love ones or your loved work place all for the sake of greener pastures truly can make someone with weak emotional armor go crazy. To be honest, there were a number of times when I attempted to look for greener pastures. Work abroad, earn dollars, fly, work and then after a few years, come back and treat the entire world! That is always on my mind even up to this writing. However, I came to realize that letting go of a major life component is part of chasing greener pastures. I remember the countless times when I had to sit with Maricon and dry her tears up and comfort her because of her sad anticipations. Truly, it never was easy. Then came the end of the school year when she really had to say good-bye to all of us. Now, she is in Bahrain, looking for that greener pastures.

Then I recollected. Why people need to get out of the country and sacrifice relationships? Here are my top reasons: First, because the Philippine government cannot support the families here especially the highly increasing prices of commodities. Second, there are no opportunities in the Philippines. Yes, there are jobs here but they are not opportunities of growth but only a tentative support for hunger and thirst. Only highly qualified individuals with strong backers (political allies and/or sons or daughters of the ones corruptly seated) can fill the major vacancies of today. Third, our workers are concerned of the future. They know that if they will stay in the Philippines, it is as if they have submitted their children to crucifixion and death. That’s an exaggeration though at a certain parameter an exact expression.

The exodus of great Filipinos is never good news for a country, trying to get over crises. Manpower. This is the only thing that can help save our country. The bad news there is when these Filipinos get out, they have the tendency to settle down there and never come back to the Philippines.

I remember, when we were yet little kids, we cast our dreams of serving our own country and make every Filipino family live better lives. We dream of simple living and generous giving. Now, ask ten children on their ideas about working and chances are, you would get eight answers saying they want to work abroad and settle down there instead of living a life of hell in this country. That’s not to be blamed since these children are aware of what is ongoing. They know the flaws of our government and they themselves feel the pressure and that all they got to do is to get over it through their desires of leaving the country.

Truly, chasing greener pastures is like gambling. You have to give your all and hope for better yields. As it takes a lot of money, effort, prayers and sacrifices, the hope of making it big abroad comes like a light in a dark room.

LIFE'S FISHBALLS & CHICKEN NUGGETS

After long grueling weekdays of school work, paper jobs and personal pressures, I usually give myself a treat of mouth-watering finger food along the street—fish balls, chicken nuggets and tempura. This iodine-rich chatting appetizer seems to be every Pinoy’s common food—rich or poor, popular or the never known, married or single and anyone else. Indeed, people differ by taste and this has been proven by many acquaintances I have made in my close friend’s little stall selling this stuff. In my hours of stay in the little resto, I realized that there is something more in the scenario of selling and buying than its usual routine. It dawned to me that there is a deeper expression of life in every customer who drops by.

A young lady for instance, who dropped by to have a ten-peso serve of fish flats came as the first subject of my observation. She wasn’t actually conscious of the length of time before her order is cooked but instead, her head was about to twist 360 degrees in search for someone. In my personally opened conversation, she later on confessed about her desperate feelings for a guy who has never reciprocated her love for him. While enjoying the taste of the fish flats with an extremely hot sauce, she then expressed her hopes and dreams for her love life. I sympathized when I heard the words of regrets and disappointments caused by a man who was never serious over the relationship. We turned out laughing when she imagined the guy dipped in the hot sauce and with her wide mouth and sharp teeth, was crushed into pieces. That was probably a very common scenario but it has taught me a lesson of genuine love and responsibility in managing a relationship. Truly, gone are the days when men mean their words. How many girls must order hundreds of fish flats and tempura just to satisfy their emotional needs? How many more girls must desperately confess their heartaches along the streets because of these unpardonable intentions? My feelings go for the girl whose honesty was never paid off. Her love eventually went spoiled and her story can be remembered as “Memories of Fish Flats”.

A bachelor also touched my heart when he personally shared his rags-to-riches story. He is from a basically poor family and he struggled to college. We went teary-eyed when his story reached to the day of his graduation. At first I thought the exaggeratedly hot-flavored sauce caused the tears but it wasn’t when my emotions really was crushed. This time, the chicken nuggets gave way for us to ponder on life’s possibilities when seasoned with hard work and faith. As a teacher, the boy gave me a tip before I start my lesson and that is, reminding my young, innocent children inside the classroom about the virtues of patience, perseverance, determination and faith. Conclusion: if all the emotionally weak youth will also drop by and eat chicken nuggets there at that place and with the boy as the keynote speaker, truly, we’ll produce more professionals out of encouragement and advice.

Little lessons of life are indeed great treasures of the heart. From the little stall of tempura, fish balls and chicken nuggets, every time I drive home with my bicycle, I am always filled with parcels of truth that no money can buy. This also reminds of the beautiful line from the poem Desiderata and I quote: “…listen to the dull and ignorant, they too have stories to tell.” I am not judging my acquaintances as dull and ignorant but I am generally speaking to everyone’s ability to touch someone’s heart. Hans Christian Andersen once wrote: “Every person’s life story is a fairy tale, written by God’s fingers.” I wish that someday every person will get the courage to tell his story and eventually change this world.

Filipinos are really wise people. They use time wisely—nibbling the fresh cooked tempura while pondering on life’s very essence. Now I know, whatever music my heart beats, it’s only a bike away and there goes a new session of life’s fish balls and chicken nuggets. Go for a bite and celebrate life!

* * * *

Special thanks to my friends, Tita Gwen Adanza and Myoko for sharing with me life and its bounties with fish flats and chicken nuggets.

The Parable of the Ugly Chocolate

When was the last time I wrote?

This question popped up from my mind after an excessively long absence that I made due to bulky and numerous loads I had both from family and school. Nevertheless, here I am, trying to get the best comeback topic I can write about. As I am trying to put all the motivators inside my mind, I am enjoying this piece of chocolate given by Sr. Marissa. Then that’s it; I decided to write about this food-for-the-gods thingamajig that is used by lovers, friends, relatives, acquaintances and almost all the people around the globe as an expression of feelings—chocolates!

In a box, a group of chocolates were so excited to see the world. Clothed in colorful dressing and decors, each chocolate stood so proud as they showed off their inviting looks to people. Tales have it that chocolates inside a box actually compete as who’s the first to be picked is the best chocolate of them all. Of course, each one is really tasked to look elegant, stylish, mouth-watering and pleasing to the taste buds of a Master.

“I shall be the first to get up and satisfy my Master as my colors are radiantly stunning,” says one chocolate.

“This size of mine will tempt the loving taste of His Majesty,” insists the other.

“Hear ye, hear ye,” another one yells out “I shall bear the best chocolate crown with this perfectly poised position and my Master shall fall to His knees and give thanks!”

In a corner, one sad chocolate just observed the excited few. She looked at herself and found out that she was broken into pieces. It was then that the rest of the chocolates started calling her names and eventually tagged her the Ugly Chocolate. That made her down for a moment. Tears never stopped flowing from her eyes and fear of being thrown away bothered her.

Then the Master, with some little children came. He opened the golden basket where He found a box of delicious-looking chocolates. Indeed, He picked the radiantly stunning chocolate first; but He did not eat it, He gave it to a boy. Then He picked another one, this time, the chocolate with tempting size. It was so happy but the Master didn’t eat it, He gave it to a girl. The Master’s third choice was the well-poised chocolate. No, He did not eat it but He gave it to chocolate-eating sparrow. The Master has not eaten yet and everything was already given away except for one—the Ugly Chocolate. The Master noticed the broken pieces of this chocolate and even more, He noticed the sobbing face of it.

“What’s wrong my dear?” He asked.

“I never have the right to feed your hunger, my Majesty. Look, I’m broken and picking me up by pieces will only waste Your precious time…” defended the ugly chocolate.

“Oh, my dear, don’t feel that way. Don’t you know that I intentionally chose you to be the last?”

“Really?????” replied the chocolate, this time in an uglier face.

“Yes, it’s because I’m going to pick you by pieces and mold you again by My Hands so that you will become a renewed, beautiful and the most precious chocolate of them all,” replied the Master.

Then the Master dried the chocolate’s tears, picked her up by pieces and reformed her right in the Master’s Hands.

So, how do you find my self-made story? Dear friends, in the many instances that I failed to write, I still had that desire to write about one more epidemic disease among humans—judgmental attitude. I don’t know how this disease has become so widespread that it created a very wide gap among peoples. History has it that discriminations and brutal judgments among the blacks and whites brought about weapons of destructions. Judgments caused demonstrations and rallies. Inferiorities ignited civil attacks. And many more…

Friends, tomorrow’s joy is fathered by today’s acceptance. Acceptance even of the least thing that we can alter, for the mean time. These words will help us erase the existence of ugly chocolates in our society. When we accept people as the way we accept ourselves, there shall never be a room for rivalries, chaos, insecurities and all their demonic forces. A lot of our religious leaders have been encouraging us to become instruments of making our brothers and sisters realize God’s loving Hands through our own acceptance. Martin Luther King Jr.’s words were so powerful that even today it is remembered and treasured.. “I have a dream, that people should be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character…”

I have a dream, that you who have read this article will close your eyes, ask for forgiveness of the many judgments you made and patch up for that wrong doing. I have a dream that you too, will pass this on and in that way, you can become a historical part of making this world the most beautiful chocolate.

Please make that dream come true…

Love, Love, Love and Love

In my recent struggle against letting go and forgetting, i have finally achieved the peak of making things go if they are not meant for me. With the help of some good friends, Grace, Sham, Myla, Ben, Dana, MM, Ming, Riz, Guy, Mariz, Jem and among others, i was brought back to the reality and was finally placed right on the grounds of practicality and intelligence. I don't know if this post is fair enough for all to read but i just can't help but celebrate to the top of heart how i endured those sleepless nights when i thought the entire world was going against me. I looked at several sides of the story and found out that truly, LOVE is LOVE and it can never be the other way around, or it never be the spark of a little of it. Love is entirely Love.

So, as a celebration of freedom, here, i am jotting down my mostly-read-and-reflected thoughts i got from books and text messages. It's all about love.

To love is to be vulnerable. The more deeply one loves, the more deeply is one liable to be wounded. Few persons really care to love because few dare to be wounded.
***
I have always thought letting you go would have to mean the biggest hurt i have to get along with my life. But you know what? Loving you has made me discover the strength i possess in enduring pain and letting go of things not meant for me. I know i am better off with just moving on without you and finally be happy. Sure it hurt at first but certainly it would be of greater pain if i still held on and played your game.
***
Not every seemingly good thing is good for you. Not every beautiful thing is right. Not all relationships are worth keeping. Nor every person you love worth it. So when you lose something or somebody, maybe you are not meant to keep them or you are not for them to keep.
***
Real love never hurries. It doesn't force things to fall in haste and rush. Love is time. Love is space. If two hearts are distant yet love beats a whisper, it is not the end. It's only a breeding of a well-deserved affection, challenged by loss, prepared by acceptance and strengthened by what is called TRUE LOVE THAT WAITS.
***
-More love thoughts later! :P

FRUSTRATION versus OPTIMISM

I was never a good singer. I know I’ll never be. However, this statement does not hinder me from loving songs and attempting to sing them until I totally mess up the arrangement of notes. Whenever I sing, so many wild imaginations dawn unto me. One, I imagine the composer of the song, fresh from the grave, angrily staring at me, violently stops me from destroying his song. Second, it seems that all the passersby would say a little prayer for forgiveness after having been tempted to comment on my voice. Third, I imagine how loyal my friends can be after praising me up high in spite of the warped and twisted singing voice I have. But still, singing is never a desperate dream for me.

Let me bring you back to the excruciating past I had as far as singing and/or Music class is concerned. When I was in Grade VI, I remember, the class focused on one line of a song. We dwelt on its melody; each of us pupils stood and sang it. Take note, one by one sang only a single line of the song. My teacher, Miss Sally Teves really got so exhausted of making me sing out the right tune. After a dozen of attempts, I think, I got the tune. (I don’t know if I really did or maybe my teacher was too worn-out of pointing out the right tune to a never-born-singer.) In high school, I praised heavens for four years. My MAPEH teachers, Mr. Ortiz and Mr. Navarro did not focus on Music. It was a wonderful four-year break. (I just pretended I needed a break after a fatiguing concert). I finally reached college. As an Education student, there was a need for me to take up Music. Miss Saavedra was very kind to me. During performances, especially Masses, she placed me right ahead of the best singers. Take note, I was never at the back. I really was in front. I was the person assigned to manipulate the overhead projector for the choir members. (C’mon, laugh out loud. I just did.) It was funny but I got over it over the years.

Once, I sang in a videoke bar in my town. An old woman passed by and greeted me with a smile of eagerness. I thought she was mesmerized by my voice. Only to find out, she had hearing defects. She was just too kind to greet me. Amen.

Now that I have grown a little more mature, the search for a good singing voice is not yet over. Whenever I do my personal thing, I imagine myself to be the next Martin Nievera or at least Christian Bautista (pardon my height!) and worse, I once daydreamed of reaching the high notes of Sarah Geronimo (comments?). I never cease dreaming. After all, I learned that everything will come true or at least, a little of everything will come true (inspired by the movie What Dreams May Come). This is maybe one of the many reasons why I chose to become a friend to Atty. Farah Tropezado (she got a very powerful singing voice). Who knows, our inseparability might sparkle a little of her voice to me. (Joke.)

Seriously, I chose not be called frustrated. It’s the meanest thing I can do to myself. Frustration for me is the last resort of fools. Frustration comes in when one’s heart finally closes to the possibility of achieving one’s dreams. Coelho, in his book The Alchemist, wrote IN EVERYTHING YOU DESIRE, THE WHOLE UNIVERSE WILL CONSPIRE FOR YOU TO ACHIEVE IT. This is the best motivation I can give to myself.

I believe that one day in my life, I would be able to gather numerous crowd, all energized to hear my voice. Mark my word, one day, you’ll see in the ad, RODEL DELORIA, LIVE in CONCERT!

Friends, optimism is an edge in this trying time. No matter what the area is, no matter what the issue is, the prize always goes to positive thinker. This is probably how the words courage, strength, resistance, perseverance and faith came to exist. Optimism is such a huge package of weapons where all the gadgets and thingamajigs of human battle for victory are contained. The good news there is optimism is never costly. It is not subversive by nature and most of all, it has never brought any havoc. Instead, it is something that is motivating, invigorating and even safe for others to use.

Singing for me is not a frustration; it is my subject of leveling up the optimism in me, in the many battles I have in life.

So the next time you attempt to do something far beyond your capacity, let optimism drive you and before you knew it, you’re half way there.

Songs from Heaven

I was never a Gary V fanatic. I just admire his talents. However, things changed when I forced myself to watch his inspirational tour here. Yes, I was forced because the ticket was bought for me, refundable though.

Heading to the city again from my twenty-eight-kilometer-away hometown after my class is definitely a big job for me. One thing that made the travel a little more exciting was the presence of my close friends who actually invited me to watch Gary’s concert. Truly, I sensed it was just an ordinary travel unlike my companions, who seemed to be very thirsty and hungry of Gary’s voice. Just to keep myself in the group, I acted as if I too, was in dire need to see the glamorous face of Gary V. I was successful. Shame came when the show started. The elegance of the back-drop, the tremendous sound system, the big mouths of the crowd, the totally alluring concert emergence plus the image of that guy who was once only an admired persona on TV on Sundays, now right there, meters away from you, one can really abruptly change a passive attitude to something that shows heat. I really enjoyed the night. It was worth it.

Now, I believe I am obliged to live by the virtues of my column tagged LIVING, LOVING and LEARNING.

After the affair, I thought it was more than a concert, a humanizing merry-making for souls that are left apathetic. Gary V owns a power to evangelize under the ambience of fun. So to say, such a power was shared as the audience willfully gave in to every word that he proclaimed all about Jesus. Unlike some preachers who stand, speak and sometimes leave listeners sleeping, Gary V speaks of God’s loving Hands and proves this with the songs that are certainly both spirit-lifting and fun-driven. At an instance, I found out that I am capable of screaming, shouting and dancing my way to total satisfaction without liquors. And this is made true by the potent beat of Gary V’s hands, feet and voice, which I believe were all God’s instruments of making us realize His presence. If I may quote, Gary V advised me that if the burdens on my shoulders are too heavy, all I’ve got to do is to shake them off. No wonder, his shakings made him go for more tours and performances in spite of his battle against some health problems.

While he was singing a common spiritual song, I dragged my best friend’s hands when I saw a very touching scenario: a couple; totally aged couple who perhaps thought that the show was about to end and that they needed to come out first. How has it become so touching? Simple. The couple reminded of family, which was also Gary’s subject of evangelization. The couple inspired me of the beauty that awaits every family that holds on to each other’s hands whatever life brings. And this was made more meaningful after Gary sang “Anak” that made me think of what I have done so far to my family. My personal battle of making my family even happier has never ended, I said. It was even made more thrilling.

In a nutshell, as the name implies, it was really an inspirational tour—one that leaves you inspired after leaving the hall and wakes you up smiling as the morning comes.

As I woke up the following morning, I knew I was late for school so I decided to be absent. I never had qualms after doing so it’s because I still extended my celebration of being called again by Him after weeks of indifference. I sensed, God is really the best. Just when I was so tired doing a lot of stuff in school and at home, He gave me break to enjoy wonderful music, without harming my body. And mind you, those melodies were not your ordinary ones; they were songs from heaven, composed by Someone who gives the best lullabies at nights when we need rest.

Truly, God is good all the time and all the time, God is good!